i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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