why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
