Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
