this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
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Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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