But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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