I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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