help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
