3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
