My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize