why didn't you poke me back
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize