i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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