Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
