these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize