I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
