you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
