who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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