why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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