the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She bit a glass in half.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
