on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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