what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
