dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
