We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's official drugs can't kill me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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