I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
