is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
