just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
