did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
