none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He told me they were just razor bumps!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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