you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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