I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
