I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
