SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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