I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
