Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
