More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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