tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I feel like abortions should bother me more
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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