sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
