Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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