He is an equal opportunity slut.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
