At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Im part way to drunk.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize