I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We left the knife in your bed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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