He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm always down for nudity.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
