I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize