I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize