Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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