Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
