So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My pussy is not your playground.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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