Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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