Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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