Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
