so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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