Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
