he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
