in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
