I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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