Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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