who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
