i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
