More tranny stories later!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
