He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
